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April 12, 2012
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Night-eyes are watching me,
candles in the dark,
a refractory guardian on guileless wings.
Is that the click of pearls I hear,
or enameled talons, a hungry beak?
When she primps and preens,
I sometimes find
feathers
in her hair,
sleek pinions under her dress.

Good morning, twilight lady.
For :iconlit-visual-alliance:

Find the original here: by :iconcahess:
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:iconnehalsadhu:
An awesome blend of words and expression/emotions. :) Great piece of poetry.
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:iconquiestinliteris:
QuiEstInLiteris Oct 27, 2012  Professional Writer
<3 Thank you!
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:iconisabellamichel:
IsabellaMichel May 12, 2012  Student Writer
On the picture:
This would make for a cool halloween costume. O.o the colors are absolutely amazing!

On the Poem!
Lovely pattern in your words. The rhythm flows so well it's fantastic. Of course, I'm certain you know that with the amount of attention you've gotten from it! Therefore, I will give you some feedback apart from the fluid imagery and popular appeal of this poem.


The speaker, for me, is something that I find the most interesting about this poem. It's...an admirer, but also someone who knows the "twilight lady" well enough to comment on finding "feathers in her hair, sleek pinions under her dress." While first person appear to be overused in many forms of writing, I find it really powerful here because of the mysterious relationship between the speaker and the "twilight lady."


One comment, I must say, is the "candles in the dark." I suppose you can gain comfort from the eyes being like "candles in the dark." I suppose that from the strength of your imagery in this piece, that the line actually feels a bit...lacking to me. I don't know why. I know that this poem wasn't requested for critique so perhaps that isn't why you put it up here. It's a gorgeous poem. I read it through three times. The accompanying picture is absolutely gorgeous as well. I guess it was just that one line that threw me off a bit. It wasn't as fluid, didn't dive into the mysterious lady as much as I would hope, or as much as the other lines managed to. Just my thoughts.

Lovely poem. :heart:

Fellow deviant writer,

Bella
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:iconvictorhugo:
VictorHugo May 10, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
thatīs sweet, i love fluffy owls.
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:iconquiestinliteris:
QuiEstInLiteris May 10, 2012  Professional Writer
So do I.
Scops owls particularly. >w< They're absurdly adorable.
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:iconhalcyonshores:
halcyonshores Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Absolutely wondrous.
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:iconquiestinliteris:
QuiEstInLiteris Apr 26, 2012  Professional Writer
<3 Why, thank you!
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:iconhalcyonshores:
halcyonshores Apr 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You are most welcome indeed. :thumbsup:
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:iconmanigran:
Manigran Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Love the imagery in this.
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:iconquiestinliteris:
QuiEstInLiteris Apr 17, 2012  Professional Writer
<33 Thank you!
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